I have been thinking about my blog over the last couple of
weeks after being told that it appeared to be written to “engender sympathy”. I consequently went through everything thing I have posted over the last year and a half and
double-checked it. So this blog is about
an update on my blog!
I started my blog when I had long stretches at home
recovering from operations and chemo treatment for breast cancer. At that time I also went into breast cancer
forums and websites where people were going through the same sort of thing at
different stages to me. Doing this gave
me lots of information, a sense of some of the issues people have with cancer treatment
not just symptomatically but also emotionally, financially, and other practical
issues, and gained a certain level of comfort that my problems and feelings
were very similar to others and that it was my attitude, how to stay positive
and acceptance of having cancer that would make a difference despite knowing
how ill I would get and did get.
I made a conscious
decision to share my life while going through one of the hardest things I have
ever faced and with that came an outflow of emotion. The blog enabled me to come to terms with my
past, present and possible future and as most articles I had seen about blogging
agreed that to do so was a very healthy and positive thing I carried on with it.
Now after a year and a half later, I have had over 3,770
views of my 58 blogs across the world including the UK ,US, Italy, Germany
Latvia, Singapore, Israel, Russia , and
many more (although not as many countries as my son with his You Tube
Channel!) – And over 1,130 following on
Twitter. It’s not a huge audience and I
know there are other outlets I can use to make more accessible if I put some
financial backing into it, but I have had enough messages, comments and contacts resulting
from the blogs to satisfy me that I am
doing a positive thing, and in some small way have helped other people – it is
amazing that there is such a medium that can let you reach and connect to other
people in your same situation in so many different countries with such diversity sharing, support, love and
sometimes action.
I try also to take a subject near to my heart, study it relating
it to my own life – hence “The Teenage Brain” and “Anger” trilogies. I have a teenager and have heard others moan
and groan about theirs and became fascinated by the latest scientific
discoveries that the teenage brain is different to a child’s and adults and
thus how you can better parenting skills to adjust to this. Anger because I had a lot harbouring inside
of me and knowing that it is unhealthy to keep it inside you without expressing
it – and one of the best comments I received from this was from a friend in
London who said thank you because it had helped her realise that she did have
permission to be angry and it was how she handled and going to tackle it that
mattered.
And then there are
the others such as to the “nature of Love and “Where do you get your Hope from”
(which included spirituality) – both of which is connected to recovery of
cancer and everyday life.
Some are cancer specific blogs - “What to do and say (and
not to say) if someone has cancer”. This
was great one to do because it is one of the biggest discussions and comments
made on the different forums I accessed and people can become very sensitive at
this time with thoughtless remarks. My
sister and I had one of the most moving conversations we have ever had with
regard to this blog (that also brought us closer) although I have a bit of
tougher hide and realise that most thoughtless comment are not meant to be as
the cancer sufferer may hear them coming from love and concern and perhaps
partly out of ignorance, and that most of the comments made were really quite
funny.
Related to that blog was “Is there
a Cancer Personality” and “Did I get Cancer because of Stress” which came out
from a desire to look particularly in these areas from my past and put down a
note of the studies that had been undertaken into layman terms. For this blog I liaised with a “Cancer Coach”
in Scotland who was also a doctor, whose wife was suffering from cancer,
extensively studying this side of Cancer and writing a paper on it. He gave me some very good feedback from the two
blogs I did and also received interest from others studying this aspect after
it was published. This also led for a request
for a “Guest blog” on my blog on the importance of exercise.
The most popular blogs to date are:
“Keep the World laughing” which was about looking at the
proven health benefits of laughter and the nature of what makes us laugh. This blog was to some extent a testament to
my father and followed a poem I specially wrote for him for Father’s Day – I had
great fun doing this one and learnt something when writing it as well.
“Don’t suffer in
silence” was in a response to being asked to submit something on my experience
of domestic abuse and sharing this with a support website in the hopes of raising
awareness and encouraging others who are in abusive situations to take courage
not to suffer in silence and seek help
and support. In this I wrote my story and poem “Empty Shell”.
“Let the Sunshine in” is about the importance that the sun
has to our health and attitude to life followed by “It’s never too late to have
a happy childhood” and these came about a) because I was enjoying the benefits
of a new flat where the sun streamed through the windows while in recovery and remembering
days on the beach as a child, riding my bike through country roads and how
carefree and innocent life seemed then, and it’s a shame to lose that
wonderment of childhood.
“I am thankful for” is
looking at whatever is happening in your life there is so much to be thankful for
– people, experiences and some things which seem small and inconsequential when
part of a bigger picture gain importance and you realise that you are thankful
for them.
Finally the blog on
“Eradicating Bob is Scary” which was written after my first consultation I had
before starting chemo has seemed to be one of the most helpful – perhaps it’s because it
has a shopping list of things needed in it when commencing treatment!
However, the blogs I am most proud of our “Pictures of Life”
which is a spiritual piece and funnily enough “Polly Wolly Doodle” – all about
when my taste buds started disappearing and when soup became a staple of my diet
although this blog has had only 7 views!
All my blogs have been deliberately full of hope and
positively – I am generally that kind of person anyway but even I need some
convincing now and again - to moving forward from recovery and starting to feel
that I am living and having control back of my own life again from forced
circumstances.
My blog has also led me in unexpected areas of opportunity to
meeting many interesting people, writing poetry and performing, from being my
own therapist and realising that I am a much stronger person than I first
thought, and having the confidence to tackle most things and face problems as
calmly and diplomatically as possible. I
hope that next year I will attempt to write some short stories or maybe even
put my blog into a book with all its quotes and poetry too. Out of a total of 58 blogs 8 of them may have
been a little more specific than they should of have been–however
every word said, every emotion expressed was true and have not been nasty or spiteful in any way.
You may gather from this that I have received some criticism
and all I can say is that my blog has not been about gaining sympathy, or that
it has been aimed at one person or one situation, it’s been about my own survival and yes
perhaps a little self-indulgent at times and helping others .
I am not going to
stop blogging. I have other subjects
that I want to have a look at in depth such as kindness, compassion, addiction
and further on the menopausal and chemo brain – Christmas and New Year is also coming
up again and this is poignant time for many people - and of course the snapshots
of my life (who knows what is around the corner) and poetry - it will just be a
little less specific in some areas than it has been before.
As I wrote in my blog
of May this year:- “When I was diagnosed with cancer and had so much time on my hands my
blog also came a way to help me get through a tough and deliberating time. I opened up my the hopes, grief, anger and
mixed up feelings in my life to my friends, family and others in the hopes that
by sharing I wouldn’t just be helping myself come to terms with having cancer,
but also may be help others on their own personal cancer journeys and that we
all sometimes share common feelings, troubles and thoughts. I wanted my blog to be truthful,
light-hearted in some ways, as positive as possible and informative where
necessary and full of quotes that had meaning to me at the time of blogging and
hopefully they would also resonate with those reading my blogs. I am proud of what I have achieved through my
blog and where it has taken me on my journey and I will never allow others to
tell me differently.”
