Me and Bob and the January Blues

Despite it being both mine and my son’s birthdays towards the end of January, like many other people I have the January blues!  Cold, dark and damp dreary days in the UK, waiting for the next pay check to come in having spent all my cash on Christmas (some of you it may also be on the January sales as well), wanting to feel so much better and more refreshed.  After my last chemo it has taken me a little time to pick up again, I have lost most of fingernails and now one toenail as well – but I am getting more energised each day, and more positive as time goes but want to run before I can walk!  I do feel that I am still stuck in limbo waiting for things to surge ahead, finding a new home and finishing treatment, getting back to work full-time and then getting my finances straight again.  It’s all still a waiting game. It has taken a little while to slip  back into a proper routine at work – getting up in the morning is a nightmare, still having a few days off sick so still not getting a full wage (although am claiming benefits, and have help from family which has been a huge help).  However, I can’t wait to go on holiday!   I am moving up the council list slowly but have to get to number 3 to be offered a new home (number 8 when I last checked a couple of weeks ago).  Apparently the longer I am on the list the higher up I move unless someone more urgent comes along – I have to March so hopefully in the next couple of weeks there will be more news on this front.  Radiotherapy starts on the 1^st of February and finishes on the 21^st – consecutive weekday afternoons with weekends off.  I am working mornings, going to treatment in the afternoons and then off to rest at home – tiredness usually comes in the second week I am told so will have to see how things go.  Everyone I have spoken to has told me that radiotherapy is “a piece of cake compared to chemo”.  

 I also had another health scare recently having a major diabetic hypo where the paramedics were called out.  I have never gone so low in my sugars before (0.9) and it was frightening to have no control over what I was doing or saying, being in a kind of waking confused dream so everything made sense to me but not to others around me.  I tried to kick the poor paramedic several times, wouldn’t co-operate with treatment he wanted to give me and blew raspberries at him – shame because he was quite dishy!!  My son said it was as if I reverted to babyhood and being very drunk at the same time.  I am extremely proud of my son on how he handled everything and now he is fully briefed what to do if it ever happens again.  Now my sugars are all over the place, high and low.  The doctors told me I shouldn’t be surprised that my sugars are not very controllable at the moment due to all the treatment I have been through and want me to keep them high so I can recover my hypo awareness –they are monitoring me and I am testing more regularly.  I have tended to forget I have Type 1 diabetes as well as cancer!

Talking about New Year resolutions I am determined to stick to mine this year – but I am taking it slowly a month at a time while I recover and not stress too much if I slip up.  It’s the usual resolutions we all make around this time of year: exercise, nutrition, relaxation, finances, family and happiness - all revolving around my cancer journey.  (Giving up smoking is last on my list but who knows I may also be able to achieve in doing this as well this year!)  In this connection focusing particularly around exercise, nutrition and relaxation I have done some research, and have been in contact with some other Twitter friends and in my next few blogs will have guest blogger – David Haas (Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance), extracts from advice and thoughts given to me by Mark@MSBreastCancer and Jackie Roberge whose website can be found at http://www.cancershift.com (thank you for giving me permission); as well as what I have found of interest on the net, my thoughts and intentions around each aspect of my New Year resolutions.  Watch this space …..  If anyone else would like to contribute to these blogs please tweet me!

Giggle of the week – or one of those outrageous remarks:  a man in a local shop commented that he loved skin-headed women and found it sexy – would I take of my hat and show him my bald head.  I couldn’t get away fast enough!

 As I reach another year older, and I think I can say a little wiser, I count my blessing and despite having the January blues I am very hopeful for the year ahead and have much to look forward to.

 I found this quote recently which I do hope you like as much as I do:

The most beautiful people we have known are those

who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle,
known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.
These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and
an understanding of life that fills them with compassion,
gentleness, and a deep loving concern.

-          Elizabeth Kubler Ross